Thursday, October 28, 2010

FACTORY REJECT SALE! Big Bad Collars.

FACTORY REJECT SALE!!!
$65 (normally $125)
Swarovsky Buckle
from the NY Garment District
COBRA Skin  
 SIZE:  16 in. (16, 15 1/2, 15, 14 1/2, 14 in)
1 inch wide
(AN AWESOME CHRISTMAS PRESENT...OR SHOW OFF A NEW PUPPY)
So here's the deal:  I have learned the hard way...again...not to try to make things when I am sick.  This collar has all the works:  Swarovsky Buckle from one of the oldest brick and mortar stores in the New York Garment District, real Cobra skin, Fine latigo leather...but unfortunately the crystals are in a wavy line...and for some reason I went delirious and thought I was making it for a mastiff, not a french bulldog, and I awkwardly put the end crystals that are only needed for the big collars.  It is still a beautiful piece and the flaws won't be apparent on the dogs neck...but I KNOW!  And since I am OCD about my crystals in straight lines...I just couldn't sell it and I remade the special order (with straight lines!!!)  I hate to waste the work hours...and Cobra skin...to cut out the buckle to salvage...soo I am trying my first factory reject sale (trying to salvage the money to replace the skin and the buckle...)
One would think I would learn....I once tried to work with a bad sinus infection...and I think it literally puts pressure on my equilibrium or something...I spent 30 minutes constructing something, and 1 1/2 hours taking it apart and re-making it (not too mention the leash decorated...and forgot to leave spot for the snap hook...).  Apparently pneumonia has the same delirium effect....sigh....
It will be first, come first served if there are multiple requests.


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Irreconcilable Differences. Puppy Wars alliances broken. War ends.

The alliance is broken.  The war ends.

It is the end of an era.  George and Boomer have broken up.  I guess my only surprise is that it took this long.  Boomer has given George the boot.  Boomer is suing the state for emancipation.  In his court documents, he is citing irreconcilable differences.
Boomer states that  
"George's shooting average is irreconcilable!"

George is on record admitting,  "Disgusted with my shooting percentage opening day, I caught Boomer pan handling on the street."

Betty's only commentary was, "It is so hard to find true loyalty these days."  Her statement was dictated between bites of New York Strip while upon her down filled sofa.
   
I must say though, that even I feel that Boomer has smited a low blow.  Boomer has hunted with George for years...
Boomer should know by now not to expect better.
Boomer, you are always welcome back here at Big Bad Collars.  Your modeling legacy could never be filled.
(You wouldn't happen to have Gauge's number on you, by the way...)

Monday, October 25, 2010

"Mama, that dog flying!". Big Bad Collars.

Tret:  parkour (free running) dog from the Ukraine!





When I watched this, my two-year-old started squealing and laughing "Mama, that dog flying!" ...And he does!  It is amazing.


I don't know if this is the world's greatest testimony to amazing training, too much time on your hands, or the amazing terrier drive...but it is most definitely incredible on all levels!



(Thanks! Eric for the find)

(I just hope George doesn't expect Boomer to start doing this...Betty, on the other hand, has been known to scale a few fences...)

Friday, October 22, 2010

Sanctions. Puppy Wars.

"Suffering under the economy like the rest of us and too proud to eat cup cakes (modeling isn’t paying too well right now), Boomer has gone to work in the apple orchards."
(he really is picking apples out of the tree)
 The harsh winter months...

My brother has decided to wield the ultimate weapon of the Puppy Wars:  Guilt.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

What's it gonna take...Puppy Wars ensue...

(sigh...finally...got...it...done!)

I got an email:  (my family is soooooo predictable...and I love them for it...so easy to bait!)

BETTY THE MAGNIFICENT MYSTERY DOG
The email read:  " 'What's it gonna take to get.... ' my baby pictured on the blog.  Seems like your dogs and George's dogs are the only dogs that exist in your universe.   Hansi has seen some "web-space", perhaps that is because he has "Hans" in the name [my brother's full name is Hans George].  I guess I will just have to continue to know only privately how beautiful the Boop is -- here are few reminders of the princess' special beauty, since you seem to have forgotten her."
Well Marg...here is the homage!  Apparently it just takes a lot of whining!  And the threat of being pushed off a ledge of the Grand Canyon.  And remember emails are legal documents...they could pin you for motive!  (baby sister survival tactic #1:  assume predictable reprisals...potentially violent as well)
 
 (MY MOM HAVING TO HOLD BOTH "BABIES")

Betty is another one of Marg's "oh no I don't need a new dog right now and there is no way I am keeping this one" dogs.  Betty was rescued at about 6 months old, starving, from the streets and full of tumors.  Now that thing is full of tenacity and self importance.  She is so fast, jumps so high, and swims so far that Marg actually had DNA testing done on her to find out her breed.  There was a lot in there but Russian Borzois was the dominant.  Betty was so mixed up and so rare that they kept her on file so they could retest her as the DNA testing improved.

This dog now has her own day care, play group, and has become one of Kathy Sdao's  helper dogs and helps Kathy acclimate untested and aggressive dogs!  This is a far cry from the fence leaping, shoe chewing mongrel sighthound that took off after every squirrel or assumed squirrel.  Not to mention the time Marg fell in the brambles, scraped on asphalt and was all cut up and bleeding (terrifying people that saw her bloody self coming out of the park) trying to protect Betty from a rabid raccoon.  (Or was that one Bob, the original "there's no way I'm keeping this dog" dog?)  Needless to say, there isn't much that hasn't or wouldn't be done for our little ego maniac :-).
Betty now has her own custom design (that God knows how many hours it took me to perfect!) following Marg's precise dictates and design approval.  With matching leash!  It is pink and whimsy...just like Betty!
Which,  by the way,  the set can now be found exclusively at Tierisch Exclusiv (on the home page even!)  Yep, the dog even has her own Couture Fashion Line now!
How's that for a proper homage!
Are egos appropriately soothed?  (And more importantly, have I secured safe passage on the Grand Canyon Trail?)
 (Now I just have to wait for Boomerdonna's prima response...Maybe George is out hunting and jeeping this week...)


(PS:  NOT pictured of course is Betty standing on the dining room table, eating all the "election day cupcakes" my sister's friend brought for the last Presidential election.  Note to self:  New Conspiracy Theory developing:  Democrats + secret memos = cupcakes.  I know more Democrats that baked cupcakes the last election!  Strange.  All I can say is "Go Betty Go!  Good Dog Betty! Good Girl!"  i know i'm gonna pay for that one...)

working on it...

working on it!  really I am!

Monday, October 18, 2010

And the mud-puppy slinging continues... Puppy Wars.

 PRIMA BOOMER-DONNA.
NATURE OR NURTURE?  YOU DECIDE.

I was actually at the leather shop last week, late one afternoon, when I got a frantic phone call from my mom.

"You know my computer has been down right..."

(Me)"Yah. uh-huh..." as I distractedly look for dragon decorations and for the crystals that are on sale, not really listening.  She is clearly really upset and, me being the good daughter as usual, I am more interested in the cobra skins than her latest computer collapse.

"Well, your brother was out here early yesterday to work on it..."

Now my attention has been snapped to the conversation.  You see my mother has been a night owl my whole life.  Hates mornings.  I had received a comment from her at 6:28 am.  Rather peculiar, but I figured she had an early appointment or some such.  But something else was peculiar:  the humor of the comment.  But this I attributed to the early hour...and figured she was off a little due to her brain not being fully awake yet.

"MEET BOOMER'S APPRENTICE, LILY (AKA LEXI). 
THE LATEST SUPER MODEL FROM STUDIO BOOMER, LTD."

You see, the family dogs are a big love for my mother.  I swear those things get better treatment...hell, better medical care even... than I did.  And yes I admit it.  I am jealous of the dog.  I am low and petty and jealous of the dog.

My mom had, shocking even in humor, said Gauge the puppy "looks evil" in that comment. Her children are fair game...but the dogs...never!  (see comments and picture here

Light bulbs...downright strobe lights...are going off in my head...

The next day I get this email at 6:02am:

Sue,
   I wish you wouldn’t pick on Mom so much, especially facial hair (that’s below the belt).  Also when I told her you called her a Prima Donna she said you were cruising.  As for improvements to the web page, a spell check in the comments section wouldn’t hurt my feelings.
George

Ahh,  George.  You think you have dissuaded me with cute puppy pictures.  Let me remind you that I have senior pictures.  And the mullet traipsing, Squire Shop T-shirt, peach fuzz years are not forgotten.  I remember being dragged through town as mom searched for the last vestiges of wide leg Levis... 

By the way, may I remind you as well, Heidi...your wife...owns Gauge.  I am thinking .... slide show maybe...

Vengeance is succeeded through perseverance.  Perseverance was defined by the baby-sister.

Let me just say almond tuxedos and "Footloose".
 

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Wedding Style. Big Bad Collars.

Introducing  
WEDDING STYLE
 



















by G. MIYA PHOTOGRAPHY 
for BIG BAD COLLARS.

I had an idea.
  
I have a very talented friend.  I have a very beautiful sister-in-law.  I know the most regal Doberman princess (with the nicest trainer).  I have watched the completed restoration of the most beautiful historic bungalow. 

My friend Gail of 
made it happen.

Thank you John and your beautiful Marcella,
Courtney and Yancy,
Dorie for your beautiful home (and Wallace),
and Shea for your help.

 


Monday, October 11, 2010

It started innocently enough...Big Bad Collars.

It all started innocently enough:  It was just a phone call to my sister-in-law.  I just wanted let her know that her shots of the collars on her dog that I posted on Etsy received literally hundreds of hits in the 10 hours it was up...and please send any other cute ones you find.

My brother got jealous.

I was informed that Boomer, my brother's dog,  was unsettled by this publicity stunt for Gauge and was wanting to break contract with Big Bad Collars.  After soothing Boomer Prima Donna's nerves (Boomerdonna for short) that he is still the most featured dog at Big Bad Collars, I received an adorable puppy picture from my sister-in-law.

Of Gauge, of course.



Then the retaliation began.  It has now escalated...I fear beyond my control...

THE PUPPY WARS HAVE BEGUN!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Coming at you...Big Bad Collars.

Big things coming at you!
(can you believe that is baby Gauge...he seems so suave now!)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Well I asked for rain....

I asked for it.

I will let the pictures tell a thousand words.  For a Where's Waldo effect, find:

1.  The box spring and red chair waiting for trash pick up...nothing like showing pictures to the world to remind you of unfinished chores!  Sorry...fall cleaning around here.  Cleaning off porches, garage here getting ready for nice weather.

2.  Fence falling over...yep more on to do list.  But doesn't your backyard look awesome now that you think of it!

3.  Power company guys racing to fix the transformer that blew behind our house before the next round of storm hits.  They are lost in the trees...but note the thunder / lightning filled sky bearing down on them!

4.  Origami boats floating down the street.

5.  The neighbor's roof under the branch

6.  The golfball sized hail that made the hood of my car look like I went insane with a ball peen hammer.

7.  Broken windshield from said hail.

8.  What's left of the play tower roof.

9.  Euphoric dogs playing with oversized sticks that landed in the yard.
































But hey...at least I am not the guy that had a patio table and umbrella land in his house...through the roof.  Or the pour sap that has a telephone pole in his living room.  I will take the dented Landcruiser with broken windshield and good story...

PS.  THANK GOD for helpful Husbands!  When the transformer blew, my surge protector didn't protect my computer from the surge!  When the power came back on...my computer didn't!  After a few violent hits to the front of the tower, I knew it was time to walk away.  At that point I simply resigned from the rest of the day, sat on the back patio with a cup of tea and watched the last of the storm...wallowing in the assumed death of my computer. 

But thanks to our IT Manager friend Richard, my husband was let in on a "power surge secret".  Richard said it was most likely the power supply only that was blown...So my hardware challenged husband had to do open heart surgery on my computer.  Amazingly, Deuce was able to open up the computer and install a new power supply all by himself.  Sadly, I failed to get pictures of the historic moment.  Happily, the computer is back in business!  More sadly, the sleep sound machine was also hit...and will forever have to rest in peace.